SantaCon is an annual pilgrimage of New Jerseyans and Connecticuters to great the world’s largest vomitorium stretching from midtown to the financial district, following the mantra, lasting only one night and then vanishing with every trace.

December 23, 2023 marked the 200th anniversary more or less the first description of the man who would come to be Santa Clause: it was crammed in one of the 6 columns of the Troy Sentinel that day on page 3, under the title Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas, with no author. You probably know it as The Night Before Christmas, best covered over a trap beat by Family Force 5.

To oversimplify and misquote Santa historian Pamela McColl from what I remember of her remarks at the 200th anniversary proceedings and induction of author Clement Clark Moore into the New York Libraries Hall of Fame:

Long before Christmas there was Saturnalia, and long before a right jolly old elf there were right jolly Roman drunkards marauding through the streets every third week of December, breaking into upperclass houses, and stealing things.

So a fat guy who sneak into your house to give you things felt nice and comfortable to the upper crust, and they decked him out in red and handed him a Coke. Read more in her book—it even got Jill Biden to decorate.

SantaCon is the restoration of Christmas back to its ancestral roots of drunk commoners breaking in and stealing from you. SantaCon is restorative justice.

¶. Tonight 8pm: Robert Moses Trivia

Bridge & Tunnel Brewery, Ridgewood, NYC, free

I requested this topic (by losing real bad) over a month ago and triviamaster Andrew was kind enough to postpone it until I could actually come tonight.

¶. Tomorrow 8pm: Generate Party

Lynn’s place, Greenwich Village, NYC, free

Our millenial/boomer/Z/anyone drinking group is having a holiday party. More show and tell than conversation this time.

¶. I love this time of year but I gotta get this out

The City Reliquary Members Holiday Party and Sci-Fi Magazine exhibition opening, A Christmas Carol at PAC, the Archivists Round Table Holiday Party, The Queer Without A Santa Claus, Zagmuk, Hell Gate’s Holiday Party, Crisis Public Relations EP release party being live recorded to cassette tape, the Open Source Gallery gala.

Email me if you want to crash any of this or more.

So far only one double booking I gotta coordinate: a true Decemberween mackerel.

⸮. Sunday 11pm

your computer or phone or whatever

Might need your help trying to crash my server. More to come in the next issue, or reply with your number if you want a text about it.