The Jews are whooping our gentile asses: this morning I saw a Prius with a 3-foot working menorah strapped to the roof. What happened to Christmas kitcsh? I guess that Prestonwood Baptist Christmas show with the flying on-fire Santa was pretty cool, in Plano. The one you saw on Reels.

¶. In 30 minutes: Harry Potter but Brad Neely voices every character

Wonderville, Bushwick, NYC, free, or say hi in the chat

A mid-COVID Christmas tradition, now five years running. Tonight: followed by Spiders & Snakes, Dear Reader, the unauthorized sequel to the unauthorized soundtrack.

¶. Now: Mini Open VCR Night

Wonderville, Bushwick, NYC, free, or say hi in the chat

I got some wild VHSs in Montana last week.

UPDATE: sorry it’s over, sent this too late.

¶. Tomorrow 9pm: Kaye’s Rockin’ New Years Eve

Singers, Bed-Stuy, NYC, free before 10pm, $10 after

Another Harry Potter connection.

¶. Through February: The Clock is back

Moma, Midtown, NYC

Can you make a complete 24-hour clock entirely out of clocks shown in film? Turns out yes, Christian Marclay can, and it’s back at MoMA. You missed the chance to watch it 24 hours straight, but hopefully they do it again.

∞. A smattering of other strange film clocks

Turns out mostly by Maarten Baas, oops.

1. Sweeper’s Clock

2. Analog Digital Clock

3. Schiphol station clock

4. Wyoscan

5. I really want one of these for my office, please.

6. That time a bunch of French anarchist clockmakers snuck into the Panthéon to repair its 150-year-old clock without permission

¶. January 9–18: Many Happy Returns returns

Playwrights Horizons, Midtown, NYC, free

“Theater has been dying since theater was born”. Come to its funeral: the producer acts and the actor doesn’t talk.

∞. Caroline finds it

Submit anything you want to find locally manufactured, and Caroline Weaver might find it. She has walked every street in NYC, and is nearing every road in America. She’s my current hero.