I’m having an Eminem phase. People don’t know he coined stanning. Other people know that as well as they know who the first president was and know it means something much darker than obsession. Or, obsession means more than we let it. Unfortunately you can’t watch the official music video because it cuts out half the verses because of Al Gore’s wife Tipper and fragile Y2K kids like me, so watch a version like this one.
Did you know Nate Ruess co-wrote a song with Eminiem about going no-contact with your mom? Another good one. Nate Ruess wrote more songs than you think. Nate now just does excellent dirtbag parody podcasts.
Sorry I thought you were a bad influence on bad kids when I thought I was a good kid, Eminem.
¶. Through Wednesday: Sleep No More Romeo & Juliette with Teenagers in Cars
Park Avenue Armory, Upper East Side, NYC, $50
Sleep No More back to life, but Macbeth swapped with Romeo & Juliette, and the McKittrick swapped with two rival high schools screaming Susan Sontag quotes on how wretched photography is as you take photos of them, and read Shakespeare off their phones in a bored monotone. They vape, make protest signs you’ve seen before, glare, give each other back tattoos (real ones).
The show is exactly 3 hours, which you know because a massive game timer above the basketball court ticks down the whole show, at one point to a just-perfect 60bpm anthem. You can visit the kids’ locker room. You can visit the show’s prop room. You can ask the roving sound technicians about tuning audio in 360°.
If you find Ruby’s room, his computer pin is 643643 and his Steam password is ArmoryPark643. Ruby may interrupt you to play The Last of Us. If you see Sebastian, ask him about what happened last week when actual high schoolers saw the show. You will not understand what they did. Fortune favors the fucked.
¶. 6:30pm: Music for Funeral Directors
The Modern Chapel at Green-Wood Cemetery, Sunset Park, NYC, free
My good friend Concetta will be singing and fiddling Danny Boy. Apparently it’s like a wedding menu sampler but for funeral music.
¶. Friday, maybe: Tom Hanks’s Typewriters
The Church at Sag Harbor, Long Island, NY, free
Tom Hanks has one of the best collections of restored typewriters. He and I buy ribbon from the same shop. A bit Tom’s collection was on display on Long Island, but apparently it ended yesterday! Oops. I’ve just emailed though to see if I can slip into see anything Friday.
¶. Saturday 2–5:30pm: the 25th-ish annual unsanctioned fixed-gear alleycat bike messenger race
Commodore II, East Village, NYC, free
Ever wondered what your Grubhub delivery guy does? Monstertrack is back. There’s stuff the whole weekend. You can also volunteer.
¶. Sunday 11am–5pm: SeltzerFest!!!
Industry City, Sunset Park, NYC, $36
I’m helping run this thing! Will Philadelphia win the Egg Cream Invitational? Will La Croix show up? Come learn about the history of seltzer and clowns.
¶. Monday April 7 7pm: Grief Show
Joe’s Pub, East Village, NYC, $30
Death Doula classical musician Concetta returns with violin for an evening on grief at Joe’s Pub, hosted by Kyra Sims.
¶. Monday May 19 6pm: NYNF Gala
The Second City, Williamsburg, NYC, $150
Please be my honored guest. The New York Neo-Futurists do a weekly show every Friday and Saturday night (which you should also attend) that is like Chicago-style improv and NYC-style standup had a threesome with SF-style D&D. If you are not an experience “gala person,” this is a great first one and I am helping put it on. I realize $150 isn’t cheap but if paying that as $50 a month would help, reply and I can make that happen.
Lot of new folks here! Presumably we met at some place or thing or email subject—I’m Jacob Ford, designer about town. Reply to say hi or remind me how we met, especially if we haven’t chatted in over a few months. Unsubscribe right ↓